How do I know if Solo Parenthood using a donor is the right decision for me?

by | Mar 31, 2024 | Solo mum

Introduction

More and more people are finding themselves single at an age where they are wanting to become a parent and weighing up the options available. As a result, more and more people are considering solo parenthood using donor conception. For some, making the decision to become a solo parent is really straightforward. Clarity is found by prioritising parenthood irrespective of relationship status. For others, the decision is much harder. Some people want to become a parent, but only in a partnership, whilst others are unsure if they want to become a parent at all.

It can feel like the biggest decision in the world, especially if we think of it in a binary way, where there is a right or wrong choice. Consequently, we can spend countless months, even years worried that we are going to make the wrong decision. And of course, it’s one decision that once we become a parent, is irreversible. You can’t test out solo parenthood, do a trial run, or change your mind.

Why single people can often give parenthood more consideration

Many couples don’t give the decision to start trying for a baby anywhere near as much consideration as a single person often does. There can be a number of different reasons for this.

  • Parenthood is often considered a natural progression for couples after marriage or upon reaching a certain age or length of time in a relationship together. This assumption of normativity can lead couples to believe that having a baby is the next logical step without deeply considering the implications.
  • Couples may prioritise the strength of their relationship and emotional connection over practical considerations related to parenthood. They may believe that their love for each other will naturally mean that they will be effective parents together, without fully considering the challenges and adjustments parenthood entails.
  • Some couples may not fully understand the realities of parenthood, including the financial, emotional, and lifestyle implications. They may underestimate the impact of parenthood on their careers, personal freedom, sleep and relationship dynamics.

The Deliberate Approach

In contrast, single people often approach the decision to become parents with much more deliberate consideration, worrying about being able to manage and any impact on their child.

As a Solo Parenthood Coach, I support people to make the decision of whether Solo Parenthood is the right option for them. I facilitate this decision-making process by utilising various decision making tools and providing access to relevant resources.

Navigating the Decision

Wondering if solo parenthood aligns with your life goals? Here are three key recommendations to consider:

  1. Connect with other solo parents to get firsthand insights into the reality of solo parenthood
  2. Do your research into the lived experience of donor conceived people raised by solo parents
  3. Delve into detailed contemplation on how each path available aligns with your values and aspirations.

Resources for Support

To aid in your decision-making journey, consider the following resources:

 

Closing thoughts

In conclusion, making the decision to pursue solo parenthood isn’t always straightforward. Your path to parenthood is uniquely yours and is deserving of careful consideration and support. Share your experiences and insights in the comments below. Your journey could inspire and support others facing similar choices.

 

Photo by Burst on Unsplash

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