Have you ever experienced a day of solo parenting where it has felt completely relentless, with one drama after another? Lack of sleep, challenging emotions, meltdowns, juggling parenting, household chores, work.
Did you know our brains are hardwired to focus in on the challenges we experience? So after a day like this, we can reach the evening and feel like it was a total disaster, focusing in on all the tough parts. Amid these daily struggles, we can sometimes overlook the beautiful moments we experience called “solo parent glimmers”. In this blog post, we’ll explore what solo parent glimmers are, why they matter, and how mindfulness can help us embrace and cherish them.
What are Solo Parent Glimmers?
Solo parent glimmers are those micro moments of happiness, joy, or contentment that sprinkle through our day. Some days might be filled with them. Even on the toughest of days there are the little sparks of light that shine amidst the challenges. But sometimes we can overlook them, whilst we focus on the negative experiences we face.
. These glimmer moments can vary greatly from person to person but often include:
- Hugs and Affection: The feeling of our child’s arms wrapped around us in a massive hug or their spontaneous “I love you mummy.” Yesterday my daughter told me I look beautiful and my heart was bursting!
- Laughter and Play: Those spontaneous fits of laughter during playtime or hearing our children’s contagious giggles. I often hear my daughter singing in the next room, or doing imaginary play, which brings me so much joy.
- Moments of Connection: The cute things our children sometimes share with us, heartfelt chats, fully engaged play, a simple smile, or any moment that makes us feel truly connected with our children. I love it when my daughter draws me a picture and explains to me what it is or gets really into a game with me.
- Personal Achievements: Achieving a personal goal, no matter how small, while managing the responsibilities of solo parenting.
- Self Care: Getting a few moments peace in a busy day, the feel of sun on our face, savouring a cup of coffee, admiring a bunch of flowers.
These will be different for everyone, but it is really powerful to focus in on what yours are. Identify which micro moments make you really happy or content.
Why Solo Parent Glimmers Matter
- Balancing the Scales: Our brains are wired to focus on the negative aspects of life as a survival mechanism. This can lead to an overwhelming focus on challenges experienced. Solo parent glimmers act as a counterbalance, reminding us that there’s beauty and joy in even the most challenging day.
- Emotional Resilience: Acknowledging and cherishing these moments of happiness can contribute to our emotional resilience. They provide a buffer against stress and can improve our overall well-being.
- Stronger Bond: These moments of joy and connection also strengthen our relationship with our children. By recognising and nurturing these magical moments, we create a positive environment…
Embracing Solo Parent Glimmers Mindfully
Now that we understand the importance of solo parent glimmers, here are some mindfulness techniques to help us embrace and fully appreciate these moments:
- Practice Gratitude: Take a few minutes each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for. This can help shift your focus from challenges to positive experiences. It helps us focus in on the smaller moments, that might otherwise get missed.
- Mindful Presence: When you’re with your child, try to be fully present. Put down your phone and really savor the moment. I try to allocate dedicated time in the day when I am 100% present rather than the constant multi tasking I am often engaged with!
- Capture the Moment: Consider keeping a journal to jot down these glimmers as they happen. Writing about them can enhance our appreciation. It can also create a beautiful keep sake to share with our children as they grow up. I’m sharing mine on Instagram using the hashtag #soloparentglimmers but I also have a journal where I jot down key moments that I want to remember, it’s the small stuff rather than the big stuff that often goes in here.
- Share and Celebrate: Share these moments with friends or family who can celebrate them with you. Sharing joy multiplies it. The more we celebrate these micro moments of happiness, the more we will start to notice and embrace them.
Solo parenting can undoubtedly have its challenges, as can all parenting, but it’s also filled with moments of pure joy and connection. Some days can be magical and filled with joyful moments. On the more challenging days, embracing solo parent glimmers through mindfulness can help us maintain a positive perspective, enhance our emotional resilience, and create lasting positive memories with our children.
Are you able to spot these micro moments on a tough day, or do you sometimes get overwhelmed by the challenges and lose sight of these small glimmer moments?