On the 19th March in the UK, Mothers Day is coming up. 

Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Grandparents Day…..all these days that are now celebrated throughout the year, the list seems endless, but for many, they can be so emotive. 

If we believe everything we see on Instagram we might buy into the fact that everyone else will be experiencing a wonderful utopian day, with perfectly impeccable behaviour displayed by our children, being made breakfast in bed, receiving thoughtful gifts, basically spending a picture perfect day in total bliss!! 

The reality is for some of us it will be yet another reminder that we are not where we want to be on our journey to become parents.  

For others it can be triggering seeing loving partners organise thoughtful gestures whilst as a solo parent it can feel like just another day with no-one to think about us. 

Of course, for some it is a lovely, long awaited for day that we can finally celebrate for ourselves in the way that we want to. 

If you’re a solo parent who finds the day challenging, these are my top 6 tips to make the most of the day: 

1. Reset your expectations and make up your own rules

Let’s remind ourselves that most of what we see on social media is the highlights reel of someones day. Rather than focusing on what everyone else is up to and dreaming about some fantasy day straight out of a movie, it can be beneficial to spend a bit of time thinking realistically about how you best want to spend the day. Don’t worry what anyone else is doing, make up your own rules for what will be best for you. We are all different and what works for others might not work for you. Take charge of how you want to do things and set the motions in place to make it happen.  

2. Ignore it and get on with your day

If it’s a day that upsets you or you don’t feel it’s in any way important, just ignore it and get on with your day without letting it impact you. 

3. Spend time with family and friends

Instead of spending the day alone with your children which could feel like any other day, consider including family and friends along to join in a celebration and to give you a bit of support. I’ll be spending some of the day with my parents as well as my daughter.

4. Ask a friend to help your child buy or make a present for you 

Depending on your child’s age, they might want to give you a present, but might need help to do that. You can ask a friend to help them pick or make you something small. I am not at all interested in receiving a gift (gifts are the bottom of my list of love languages), but my daughter is at the age now where she might want to get me something, but will need help to do that. I’ve asked my mum to help her choose something for me.

5. Spend the day doing what you love

It’s your day so spend it how you want. Forget cards and presents and anything we might typically associate with Mothers Day, and spend the day doing whatever it is that you love doing. Maybe that is with your child doing your favourite things together, maybe that is solo at a spa, maybe it’s surrounded by friends or family. Whatever it is, try not to compare with what anyone else is doing and focus in on what brings you joy. I’m planning to make a roast dinner for the family. 

6. Treat yourself

If there is something that you would love, you don’t need to wait for anyone else to get it for you, treat yourself to it! Buy yourself a bunch of flowers, a box of chocolates, some new jewellery, bubble bath, a massage, whatever it is you’d like! Also try to make some time to do something nice for yourself. If you’re a solo parent and have no help, maybe after your child has gone to bed do a little pamper session or allocate some time for you.

One of the main things that I have worked on with pretty much everything I do is making up my own rules. I try to dedicate some time to think about what will work best for me in my situation, try to drop any fairytale expectation of what I think things might be like in the fantasy world I sometimes live in, and instead really embrace what works for me in my situation. I’ve found that really works well for me and enables me to get the most out of life. 

I’d love to hear your views on Mothers Day, how do you feel about it, do you celebrate it and how? Let me know in the comments below.