‘Let’s be lonely together, a little less lonely together’

Rita Ora

 

I’m a solo mum to an 11 month old daughter, Daisy. I’ve just got back from a lovely weekend away with my daughter,  visiting my friends in London and I feel lonely. It took me 6 hours door to door to get home. I’m tired, I’m wet (it was pouring down on the walk back home) and I have a pretty grumpy baby in tow, who’s not slept well.

I’ve arrived home to a cold, empty house, that needs tidying up. I need to start unpacking bags as well as cheering up Daisy, who doesn’t appear to want to be put down whilst I do anything.

I had my daughter on my own through choice. It was for fear of missing out altogether if I waited to meet a partner to embark on parenthood with, as I was fast approaching 40. I have a great support network and awesome friendship group.  Since I’ve moved back to the UK from living abroad, my local social circle is quite small. This means most evenings when my daughter has gone to bed are spent sitting in the house alone.

The positive side to this is that I’ve had plenty of time to start the Solo Mum community, The Stork and I. This is to support other solo mums in similar circumstances. The negative side of it is that it can be a lonely existence having no adult company in the evenings.

I’ve decided enough is enough. I want to meet a network of people within walking distance of me. Not constantly having to travel to see my friends who are scattered all over the world. I want to meet people in similar circumstances who are also looking to socialise in the evenings and weekends. 

Following the birth of my daughter, I felt that it wasn’t the right time for me to go and meet a whole new social circle. I had other things taking up my time, such as keeping a mini human alive! I took NCT classes and I met a lovely group of people from that. I also used Mush, the app that helps you make other mum friends. When I was on maternity, I had no end of options for socialising.  My social life was amazing and I was running from one activity to the next. I tended to do all my socialising in the day and was relieved to have some down time in the evenings. 

Now I’m back at work, my days are spent working, so socialising needs to happen in the evening and at weekends. This can be possible, but it takes some serious planning. I’ve decided I need to start putting some effort in, to allow this to happen more easily.   

To tackle my own loneliness and that of many of the ladies I have interacted with through The Stork and I, I’ve created a campaign called ‘A Little Less Lonely Together’ The idea is that there are many people out there, especially single and solo parents who are all feeling a bit lonely at times, and together we could all feel a little less lonely. 

Over the next month, I’m going to pour my heart and soul into all sorts of ways to meet new people and try to become ‘a little less lonely together’ and share this journey with you. I’m going to be giving loads of hints and tips about combatting loneliness. On the Stork and I Instagram account, I will be giving one tip each day as well as a variety of blog posts and articles. I’ll also be directing you to some great resources I have come across.

2019 is the year of expanding my social circle, making some new friends and combating my loneliness. If this sounds like something you’d like to be involved with, then stay posted for more hints, tips and advice.

I’d love to hear from you if you have any ideas to share on how to do this.

 


Mel Johnson

Founder of The Stork and I, following my path to solo motherhood.

2 Comments

Alpa · April 3, 2019 at 3:54 pm

My daughter is now 13 months old. I recently moved to the Manchester area for work. We spend Sun night – Thursday here and the rest of the week at my parents in North Wales. I’m finding it really tough to meet people. I started joining a few groups on my day off but found it cliquey. Evenings are the hardest. Mia is a terrible sleeper. She wakes up frequently so I can’t even plan a phone call with a friend. It’s got to the stage where I put her to bed, shove some food down my throat (usually reheated a couple of times as I’m yet to get through one without her waking up) and go to bed. She is the best thing that ever happened to me and I hate complaining as I wanted her so much but it’s so lonely.

    Mel Johnson · April 3, 2019 at 4:35 pm

    Oh where in Manchester are you? I’m in Didsbury. Let’s get together for a play date. My daughter is the same age as yours. I’m also often in Wrexham visiting friends as I grew up there. I’m really happy to talk you through some changes I have made to make things more manageable and less lonely. xx

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