Being a solo mum is the most rewarding role I have ever done, but also the most demanding. With all the responsibility on my shoulders and having the constant juggle of conflicting priorities, it can be easy to put my own needs last.

If there is one thing I have learnt in the last 7 years of being a solo parent, it is that prioritising self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. When I take care of myself, I have more patience, energy, and love to give to my daughter.

What Self-Care Means to Me

Self-care looks different for everyone. For me, it’s partly about finding small but meaningful ways to recharge and take time for me amidst the busyness of solo parenting. Here are some of the ways I make space for my well-being:

Early Morning Moments: I usually wake up early and have a few hours before we need to leave to go on the school run. Whilst my daughter is playing, I try to start the day by enjoying a quiet cup of tea, if I am really lucky and the suns out, I can sit in the back garden in the sun. Recently, once I’ve got up and made my daughter her breakfast, I’ve even had time for a few pages of a book before the school run. This small act helps me start the day feeling more centred. I’m lucky because we often have about 2 hours in the morning, I can juggle some time for me as well as time with her.

Movement & Fresh Air: This is so important for me, it has such an impact on my energy and my mood. I’ve recently really reframed what movement means for me. Before becoming a solo parent it was allocating an hour to do an exercise class or a long run. These days I try to incorporate movement and exercise into my daily routine. Whether it’s a quick 12 minute workout at home, a lovely walk on the beach, or running to school with my daughter on her bike, getting outside in fresh air and moving my body helps release stress and boost my mood. I’ve recently bought a camper van and the more I can away in that with my daughter the better as we spend so much time outdoors in nature, breathing in the fresh air and exploring.

Asking for and Accepting Support: It’s morning routine and bedtime routine that sometimes do it for me. Every, single, day, dealing with the same thing! Sometimes it’s so good for my well being having someone who can take a turn for me. Also having someone who can give me a break to do something for myself. I love the theatre, a spa day, dinner with friends, just taking some time out to remember me as a person outside of motherhood. I’ve foudn it so hard asking for help. Historically it has made me feel both a failure and a burden. I am now getting much better at asking and believing that people will say no if they don’t have the capacity to help. One outcome of accepting help is that I have definitely noticed it has strengthened my connections with friends and family that have become part of my support network.

Boundaries with My Time: I used to be someone who said yes to most things and didn’t want to let anyone down. I’ve really put a lot of time into understanding myself, what makes me happy and what drains me of my energy. I am now a lot better at saying no to things that drain me and protect time for activities that bring me joy. I still find myself not wanting to let anyone down, but sometimes I have to look after my own energy first.

Focusing on Micro Glimmers: I love the concept of Micro Glimmers and have written all about them before in relation to solo parenting. But really, they apply to every day life. I mindfully and intentionally seek out small moments that bring me joy. Inspired by This is Alice Rose Life Raft, I keep a list of simple pleasures that uplift me –  whether its sharing a beautiful moment with my daughter,  listening to a podcast while cooking, indulging in a bubble bath, enjoying quiet time with a book or taking a walk in nature. These little joys make daily life feel more special.

Self-Care Looks Different for Everyone

Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some people find peace in exercise, while others recharge through social time with friends. It could be carving out time to carry out a hobby, chatting to people in a community forum, meditation or talking therapy. It can be anything that nurtures your mind, body, and soul.

Giving Ourselves Permission

As solo mums, we might feel guilty taking time for ourselves, but self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Prioritising our well-being makes us better parents and happier individuals. It’s about making small, sustainable choices that help us feel nurtured and supported. How do you prioritise self-care in your daily life? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Photo by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash

(Not suggesting having a bath itself is self care – but I do LOVE a soak in the bath)