“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.” – Fawn Weaver

Let me begin by saying I don’t subscribe to the idea of ‘happily ever after.’ It suggests life is like a fairytale, which we all know it’s not. Buying in to this concept can lead to unnecessary disappointment when challenges arise. However, I do believe that the vision of the future we grew up with isn’t set in stone. What if ‘happily ever after’ isn’t about following a traditional script but about crafting a life that’s uniquely ours, shaped by our circumstances and desires?

For me, the dream of having a baby was something I carried with me for years, from my early 30s, shortly after separating from my partner of 7 years. Like many, I expected this to happen within a relationship, and I felt anxious that it wasn’t happening for me and that I might miss out on my desire to become a parent. When it was clear that I wasn’t going to meet a partner in time to start a family together, I began to consider alternatives, realising I didn’t need to meet someone, in order to be able to achieve my goal. In 2018, I welcomed my daughter, Daisy, through IVF with donor sperm, becoming a solo parent by choice and marking the beginning of my very own ‘happily ever after’

This was not an easy decision to make by any means. Society had deeply embedded my beliefs that happiness and success would come from meeting a partner and having children as a romantic couple. That being said, it has become one of the best choices I have ever taken. It wasn’t how I originally expected my life to unfold, but I couldn’t imagine things any other way.

I believe you can follow a 3 step approach to create your own version of ‘happily ever after’.

1. Gain clarity on your assumed life plan and create acceptance that’s not for you. 

Creating your own version of happiness starts with embracing the idea that your path might not look like how you presumed it would, or like other peoples—and that’s okay. Once you accept life might not look exactly as you had imagined or planned, you can start to look for ways to let go of that idea, to leave room to embrace a new path.

2. Recognise what truly matters to you

Take time and give thought to become crystal clear what your priorities are and what is most important for you. For me, my upmost priority was becoming a parent, this was over and above finding a suitable relationship. Everyone will have different priorities, desires and vision for what life could look like. The clearer you are on yours, the easier it will become to achieve them.

3. Take bold steps to make your dreams a reality

It is unlikely that your ‘happily ever after’ will fall into your lap, without taking action. It’s not about following a set script. It’s about being honest with yourself about what you want, exploring possibilities, and making empowered choices that reflect your values and dreams. Then it is about taking bold action, to make those dreams a reality within your own circumstances. By doing so, you can craft a life that’s meaningful, joyful, and uniquely your own.

If you’re seeking inspiration or guidance on wanting to have a baby whilst you don’t have a partner, remember there’s a community of people I’ve built through The Stork and I—ready to support you. Come join us here.

Whatever your happily ever after looks like, it’s never too late to start creating it.