When I was considering having a baby on my own, I’d never heard of the term Social Infertility. It’s now used much more widely and describes the scenario of being unable to conceive a child naturally due to social circumstances (i.e being single) rather than a medical fertility issue.

I also didn’t know there was such a think as a Fertility Coach, never mind one specifically for single women looking to have a baby on their own. Personally I didn’t have anyone to talk my decision through with and didn’t know of anyone who was in the same situation. For this reason I felt quite alone.

With over 15 years coaching experience and an international coaching qualification, I decided to create The Stork and I, to become the UKs 1st dedicated Social Infertility coach and to provide support to others going through the same considerations. I wanted to ensure that no-one else had to feel alone in their situation. I am passionate about bringing a community of women together to support each other.

The number of women who are single in their 30s is increasing year on year. There are many reasons for this. Maybe we focus more on education and our careers? Perhaps we are less willing to settle for the wrong person?Could it be that modern dating provides so many options, people are less willing to settle down? I don’t have all the answers. Every situation is different. There are lots of factors at play. I am interested in researching the reasons in more depth and will continue to share my findings.

Whatever the factors, it seems that more and more women are unable to find a partner to settle down with in their child bearing years. This situation is leaving many of us trying to understand what this means for our options to start a family.

If you are experiencing social infertility, where you want to have children, but can’t try to conceive naturally due to your relationship status, it can cause an array of emotions:

Possible emotions caused by Social Infertility:

• Frustration about not being able to start a family in the way you had imagined
• Anxiety that we may miss out on motherhood
• Confusion and overwhelm about our options
• Worries about how to communicate with our family
• Anxiety about the perception of solo motherhood
• Grief for the loss of having a baby in a loving partnership
• Feelings of failure over not being able to find a suitable partner
• Feelings of isolation and loneliness
• Financial worries for the treatment and raising a child solo
• Anxiety about our ability to manage alone and the level of support available
• Doubts about balancing career and solo motherhood

One way of getting support is through Fertility Coaching. A fertility coach is someone who guides us through our journey. Often, they have been through it themselves and as a result can relate to the challenges we are going through.

The support provided by a fertility coach may be both practical and emotional. Any topics can be covered, depending on our preferences.

Here’s 7 ways a social infertility coach could help during the decision making process, fertility treatment and beyond to make a significant difference in our journey:

Benefits of using a social infertility coach:

1. Offers guidance through each key decision point required
2. Shares reliable research and information produced by experts
3. Supports with embracing the decision of choosing solo motherhood and viewing it with pride and ownership
4. Helps work though any fears and anxiety with practical steps
5. Practical advice on building a support network and reaching out for help
6. Techniques for dealing with going through the journey solo
7. Sets goals and action plans, providing accountability

If you think you’d benefit from 1:2:1 coaching but it is not affordable for you, I’ve created some alternatives. I’ve detailed your support options here:

Support options

Free support: The Stork and I Mum Tribe Facebook Group

This is a private group that people cannot see you have joined. It is made up of over 800 women worldwide sharing their journeys, their advice, and asking their questions. We share facebook live sessions from a range of experts in the video section as well as the links to join a local whatsapp group.

Group coaching: These are courses of up to 10 women who dial in remotely over 3 evenings (depending on your timezone) from around the world. They receive support as well as benefiting from sharing their stories with each other as well as connecting with others in similar circumstances. This is powerful.

If you’d like to explore the right option for you, contact me at mel@thestorkandi.com and I offer a free 30 minute consultation to chat it all through.